Blessed

As much fun as it would be to wallow in self pity I am forced to remind myself that I am Blessed. First of all I am married to Donna. She is much more than I deserve. This ordeal that Donna is going through could be so much worse! I have no money issues at all. The Miitary insurance is taking care of all our expenses so that is an issue the "other people" have that I do not. The Coast Guard community from Anchorage down to Juneau. We live in a remote area and the nearest effective cancer traetment is in Anchorage. As you can imagine housing during the tourist season is difficult to came by. My Parent command with help from the YMCA got us a house to live in during our tratments! It is really nice and comfortable. My close military family has been standing in line to give Donna a hand. I was unable to go with Donna for one of her follow up appointments. We foolishly decided that Donna could go with my son and that she would be up to driving. Donna was in pain and she could not drive. A Senior Cheif Petty Officer ment her at the airport and drove her to two medical appointments. I can't tell you how greatful I am. So when I let my brooding lapse I se that I am truely Blessed.

Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy! Now there's a scary word! Of Course it is especially when you are bringing someone you love in for it. But the staff there knew their stuff and they realize that the person with
the patient needs a little coddling too. But as always the dread of something can be worse than the actual event. Donna was and is a champ. So far our after effects are tired and non-stop hic ups! Donna got some much needed sleep today. So far so good. More soon.

Better Days

I am sitting here in a beautiful house located on Elmendorf Air Force Base provided to my wife and I by the YMCA. I have been reflecting on the good. Thats a change for me lately and I was beginning to wonder if I was still capable of it. The surgery Donna had went well. The chemo will be hard on her but it could be much worse. We could be in a hotel 6. Instead we have a wonderful place to stay. Washer Dryer two bed rooms. Donna is in really good spirits and it's hard to remain in a funk when Donna is in a good mood. She sort of sweeps you along. The nurse that gave us our in brief pep talk put a great deal of my dread to rest. It's still there it's just resting. I have no real reason to be apprehensive at the moment so for the time being I will put it aside. That's not to say there haven't been some moments. We visited a wig shop. That kinda of made things a bit real for a moment. So for now I am doing well. More important than that Donna is doing well. I will post again probably Monday after the first Chemo treatment.

To begin with

Hi my name is Ron. I am 52 years old. My life has been pretty simple up until now. Go to work come home from work. Bring in the money and take out the trash. Look forward to my time off, Write and Draw my web Comic. Last March my wife was diagnosed with Breast cancer. Everything changed.
I won't go into the minutia. I would like to explore the partner of a cancer patients point of view. A very helpless feeling let me tell you. I want to be the leader. I want to take the brunt of the blow. But I can't it's not my body. Not my cross to bear. I find myself being swept along following my dear wife's lead and trying to be useful while feeling useless.
One of my fellow web comic artists just lost her husband to cancer. This kind of news hits so much harder than it ever did before. Tomorrow we fly to Anchorage to start Chemotherapy. I approach this with deep dread. I lost my mother to cancer and I remember the chemotherapy. Donna is the strong one but every once in awhile her uncertainty shows. That is why I'm here, to smile reassuringly at strategic times and be there to cry on. My father was so very good at this with my mother. He is the example I aspire to. If I can be like Dad I will have in my opinion succeeded. So far I give me a C. But I will keep trying. Stop by again and we will explore some more.